3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
