okay pat passed out under dana's car
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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