What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
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