It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
