yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize