sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
