I smell stomach acid.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
