We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
