My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize