hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
