In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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