I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
