Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
