Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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