how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
