she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
