Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Someone came in the potted fern
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
