everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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