you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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