I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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