chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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