it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
