You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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