look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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