So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
