i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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