Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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