There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
