dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
