think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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