Sponge bath it is.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
