As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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