Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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