the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
