The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
