Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
