Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I am one with the molecules
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
