Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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