so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize