There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
