I just pynch a tree in the face
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize