my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize