So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
