found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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