just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
