Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have tasted many bathrooms
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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