let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
