we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
