Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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