..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
