woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
