If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
