she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
