Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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