i just google imaged poop.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
