so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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