Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do vagina's smell?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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