the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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