matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
