LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
COCAINE IS GR8
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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