omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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