Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
