She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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