Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
